Hello Readers! Longggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg post....




I'm back alive, kicking & bouncy.. :)


Here to update some pics taken over the past few days, before i get too lazy - & if i do not blog now, i won't have any time to do so for the rest of the week..


I won't want to be labelled as a blogger who only update 'rotten' photos!! Hahaha!!! So, here comes pictures, 'fresh from the oven!!!' :)


Mom's B'day - 20012010:

Just in case you guys are wondering where is Rays.. He was away on business, thus was unable to make ot for the celebration.. Nonetheless, we still enjoyed ourselves very very much - just look at the smiles on our faces!!!

我真的是笑到见牙不见眼咯! You say happy not?? Heeheh!!!! :D

But little did i know that it would be my last happiest smile for the week.. Sad.. Sad.. :(

Hubb was scheduled to leave for KL the following night, to attend a relative's wedding in KL, something he told me way back in Nov 2009...

The day finally arrived, & with a heavy heart & footsteps, i went to work.. Met Hubb for breakfast, but was sulking.. Met him again for lunch (like always) & started crying beyond consolation.. :(

I didn't want to cry, but the thought of not being able to see him for the next four days was seriously weighing me down!!

I shiver at the thought of robberies happening in KL, those freaking life taking accidents that happens on the North-South Highway, & the people who went away & never came back again...
:(

I had never ever felt insecure - it was really to the extreme!!!

He promised me that he would call me upon arrival in KL, which he didn't.. Promised to call me at least once over the weekend, which he didn't.. Promised to call me to inform me of which coach he would be taking to come back, which he didn't again..

I managed to sleep on the first night by 0030 when his call never came.. Thought to myself that he might need to settle down upon arrival, & that his call would come by Friday morning... But what followed the next few days,was something that i WOULD NOT EVER EVER want to remember or be reminded of.... :(

When his call did not come by Friday afternoon, i started panicking... Then came another silent Friday night, & that was when all my fears started sinking in.. Wild thoughts robbed me of my sleep, of my sane mind, & the peace i felt, just the night before, & i started sobbing under my Hello Kitty blanket.. :(

It was yet another quiet Saturday, & the quietness was killing me like a dagger pierced right into my heart.. The pain i was experiencing was.............. indescribable, & for the second night in a row, i lost sleep & ate barely ate a morsel... :(

Sunday was a total blur.. I only remember sobbing at home, then again on stage while singing Amazing Grace - My Chains are Gone..

I was like asking God why is all these happening to me when My Chains are Gone...???? Thereafter, i sat through Bible class with my mind miles away, worrying for Hubb Hubb...

Uncle John, the theological student hosting the class prayed for me @ the end of the class & i started sobbing all over again...

Earlier that morning, i texted him to tell him about my worries, & asked to be excused from the weekly class for once..

I think he somewhat sensed my insecurities & approved my absence, but i was dragged into the class by my sister at the very last minute...

Uncle John was elated when he saw me, & actually allowed me to 'sleep' thru the class - i was drifting in & out of consciousness due to fatigue..

When the call didn't come again on Sunday @ 2300 hours, i feared the worst...

I went almost berserk!! I started crying again & i just couldn't calm down.. Mommy & Daddy got so worried that when i was inconsolable! I ran out of the room, & continued sobbing.. It got so bad that Mommy actually woke up & sat with me while i cried...

I cried & cried & cried non-stop... :(

I think no one would ever ever understand what was in my mind at all lor!! Imagine not having to hear from your loved one for that long!!! And i thought he had told me that he would be back on Sunday???

Sunday had passed & yet there was still NO NEWS of him AT ALL!!! Would anyone be confident to say he/she would still feel ok after all these nightmares?? By then, even Sunday was over, &
there was still NO NEWS from him!! :(

Then............................................................. at 3.08am on Monday, his sms finally came!!! In the sms was:

OK Dear i'm back, see you tomorrow & i miss you!!!!

I called him within seconds & the voice at the other end of the line stirred me to cry even harder, & he spent almost an hour to calm me down lor...

My nightmare ended, LIKE FINALLY, & now am suffering the aftermath of my worst nightmare...

Time check: 0015 now... It took me almost 2 hours to 'remember' this nightmare..

Hubb, no more nightmares like such please!!! Please call back if you ever ever leave again!!

Time check:

Its 0117 am, & i'm still wide awake...

Its been more than 24 hours since & i've yet to hear from you at all...

I wonder if anything had happened to you..

I wonder if you still remember that i'm still waiting for your call...

I wonder if you know i'm still very much worried about having no news from you since your arrival..

I wonder if you remember that you promised to call me once you've reached your destination..

I even wonder if you still remembered me at all.....

Waiting anxiously & desperately for your call is indeed taken a toll on me.. Adding to my anxiety & weighing me down, is the disagreement just 2 days before your departure - over your Mom's accusations...

Is she trying to stop you from contacting me? Or is it just you who just can't be bothered?

I loved the little gift you made, when you saw the drastic emotinal wreck i was in, in bid to soothe the completely inconsolable me - just hours before you depart & the sweet little messages you wrote, all over the envelope.. :)

You told me that i could open the envelope when i missed you,, But fact was, i opened it the minute i got back into office.. It sent me crying my eyes out, in my seat like a helplessly lost child...

Time check: 0141... I've been staring into the screen for a good 20 minutes with so much running in my mind...

I hope that counting sheeps would really help me go to sleep...

Logging out with loads of loves, misses & tears,
HanBaoBao


后记：

眼泪的味道-是咸的

I can no longer blog the way i used to...


I've got so so so much to blog about but i find no suitable words, nor am i able to complete any sentences.. I find myself editing the post, over & over again...

I'm overwhelmed with uncertainties, yet i'm facing difficulties in expressing myself, & getting well understood...

I need to get outta these shits soon...

Till then....

Accusations...

Its nothing new to me, yet i get affected all over again!!!

The thing is, why is it that she has to accuse me that i DID NOT greet her over & over again when i actually DID???? Doesn't she ever grow tired of it????

Be it her hearing problem or she purposely wanted Hubb & me to quarrel over such stuffs!!! I don't give a damn about that!!!

One thing for sure i know, she is trying to create a rift between us.. Is she jealous?? Is she trying to break us up?? I don't know - because only she knows...

I have a clear conscience...

Till we meet the Maker, the truth will never surface - its only till then, will people know who's the devil & who's the angel...

Like Janice says mentioned whilst doing my appraisal yesterday - (when i shared with her my problems @ work) unless one fine tunes his/her thinking, they will never let go of the past & move on...

I think the same theory applies in daily life too..

Doesn't it??

Have been feeling sick eversince last week... :(

The thing is, i don't seemed to recover at all & it does not help that i've got shitloads to handle @ work!! It made me so stressed that i cried again.. Until Janice don't even dare to come near me!! Hehehe!!!

So stressed that my menses, which ended last week, came again on Monday, & i nearly fainted lor!! How can i be on menses again when mine just ended barely one week ago???!!! Could it be the baifengwan be the cause of the early coming of my menses - since my menses comes quite punctually??

So, in a fluster, i went to the medical hall which sold me the pills & asked the auntie..

Me: Auntie, 你还记得我吗？我上个月来跟你买白凤丸

Her: Hmmm...

Me: 我月经上个礼拜才完，现在又来了!! 是不是白凤丸惹的祸??

She looked a little puzzled/amused before replying

Her: Moi 阿！白凤丸已经有几百年的历史了.. 我从来没听说有这样的事情咯..

Me: Then 是什么问题??

She paused for a moment before asking if i was too stressed at work...

Then it suddenly hit me that it was indeed work stress that resulted in the early menses lorz..

Anyway, i seriously hope Disney calls me soon, so i can officially leave this hellish place, before i officially call the asylum my home...!!!

I want to feel well again!!!!! My pre-wedding shoot is in 2 weeks time!!!!! Argh!!! :(

On a lighter note, here are the answers to the 'quiz' from the previous post...

Jes, you've got Bao correct!!! :)

Wilson is the round round cute cute one, while Desmond is the tall tall cold cold one.. Hehehe!!!

OK peeps!! I'm back!!!!

First, blog banner changed, giving it a refreshing new look, after the Google ads disappeared suddenly for no rhyme or reason!! :D

I finally found time to get my butt to the ground to do a decent update after donkey days of being away.. I reckon this would be a long post, with loads of overdued pictures which i promised someone to upload..


First & foremost, here's for you, Jes, - BB Ezekiel's full month celebration!!


There are loads of pics, but i decided to upload only those which i think turns out nice, funny or presentable.. :)

Look at BB Ezekiel in the 4th pic from left.. So candid lor!! HAHAHA!! Oh yes!! By the way, the lady holding him is my mommy's best friend in church..

Enough of BB Ezekiel..

Coming right up, is my department's Year End Dinner, which is paid for by my manager, Janice, also the same woman who kinda forced me to drink a cup of beer that night - my first in my 26 years of life..!!

The taste of it was horrible, & i promised that it would be my first & last time ever!!!!

I didn't manage to get all the dishes pictures in because we were like simply too hungry to wait lorz.. Hehe..

Nonetheless, i managed to get the chilli crab's picture taken.. Heh!! :D

Need no introductions as to who is Janice right??? So obvious lorz!!

Make a guess..

Which is Bao? Desmond? Wilson?

Answers would be revealed in my next post!! No prizes thou.. HAHAHAH!!

Happy guessing!!!! :)